Things were going well between Sam and me until he let his friend, Wisdom, move in with him. Here is the thing. I never had a problem with Wisdom. We hit it off right from the moment we met at Sam’s place. I would describe him as a typical sanguine. Very outgoing with the “life of the party” energy. Laughter abounds wherever he goes. That was what made me like him.
Sam has a regular job while I work as a hairstylist. I believe this made it easier for Wisdom to spend his free time with me. He often stopped by my salon when he needed company. Whether or not the place is busy, I make time for him. We would chat and laugh about life and its challenges.
He is the trendy type, so he had an obsession with keeping his hair neat. “I want you to be my hair stylist,” he told me one day. “Why not?” I agreed. That was the beginning of more bonding sessions between us.
Sam didn’t like our closeness. Of all the salons in this big Nigeria, why are you the one he chose to be his hairstylist? I am not pleased with this arrangement you have with him.”
I thought he would get over it eventually but I was wrong. One day, he gave me an ultimatum: “Stop doing my friend’s hair or this relationship is over.”
“Why are you bothered that I get along well with your friend?”
He couldn’t give me any reasonable explanation, so I ignored him and continued with the styling. I didn’t have peace in the relationship because of this. He kept pestering me to choose between him and Wisdom.
What choice did I have? I started avoiding Wisdom until I no longer spoke to him. I didn’t know what to say to him about why we could no longer be friends.
Looking back, I think Sam feared his friend might expose his cheating ways to me. I am saying this because he went as far as blocking and deleting the guy’s number from my phone. Then they had a misunderstanding. Shortly after that, Wisdom moved out.
Our relationship stabilised when he left the picture. But Paulina came along and everything changed. I was the one who brought her into our lives.
I met her at work. We easily bonded over the fact that we are the same age, and were born in the same month.
We talked a lot. She told me about her boyfriend. She showed me his pictures. “He is handsome, isn’t he?”
I nodded, “Yes, he is. He looks rich too.”
“That’s because he is a wealthy man. He has been taking good care of me for the past five years,” she bragged.
I also told her about Sam. How in love we were and how happy he made me. When the opportunity presented itself, I introduced her to him. The two of them hit it off that instant. It made me happy then but now that I look back, I should have kept them apart.
It didn’t take long before Sam and Lina started bonding. A bit too much if you ask me.
I did my best to ignore it until Sam and I had issues. Instead of talking it out with me, he went to tell Lina to come and apologise to me on his behalf. I was so mad. What would he have done if Lina and I were never friends? He knew I don’t believe in third parties interfering in my relationship yet he crossed that line.
I expressed my displeasure but he didn’t change. Their friendship rather got tighter. Whenever I had problems with Lina, she ran to Sam. When I argued with Sam, he confided in Lina.
One day, I was talking to Sam when unprovoked, he said, “Babe, you should’ve seen what Lina wore yesterday. A very short gown. That’s the kind of thing you should be wearing for me.”
“Every day, Lina this, Lina that. What’s going on between you two?”
He acted outraged by my question. “Why on God’s green earth would I date your friend? I can never do that.”
I wanted to believe him but his behaviour didn’t align with his words.
Lina also became something else. She dressed provocatively to our hangouts whenever she knew Sam would be around. Then she would interrupt our conversations and insert herself where she wasn’t needed. One day, I decided I’d had enough.
I told Sam, “Lina is my friend, not yours, so I need you to back off. If not, I am done with this relationship.”
He promised to stop. He didn’t. Rather, he went behind my back and told her everything I said. He even added that I was jealous of Lina.
You know, she is curvier than I am. Unlike me who is average built, she has a big bum and full chest. I want to believe that’s what got Sam wrapped around her little finger.
You Broke Me Into Pieces: A Daughter’s Emotional Conversation With Her Father
I feel disrespected. I compromised and cut off my friendship with Wisdom for the sake of our relationship. Now that it’s his turn to do the same, he won’t do it. This tells me how little I mean to him.
I want to block and delete Lina’s number from his phone and see if he will find a way to contact her. If he does that, I will leave for good. Or do you think it’s best that I just cut the two of them off and move on with my life?