It Took Me Six Years To See The Real Face Of My Baby Daddy

When our relationship began, he didn’t have a place of his own. He was living with his cousin although he had a car. He always complained about money so I knew I could not count on him to support me financially. I had a job that earned me enough to get by, so his financial status didn’t bother me.…CONTINUE READING

If anything, I supported him whenever he was in need. Sometimes I bought food for him when I knew he had nothing at home. There were other times too that I gave him cash as a loan. Of course, he never paid any of it back. I did it all for love so it was not a problem.

One day he called me and said, “Babe, my car broke down. I want to fix it and use it for a taxi so I can earn something at the end of the month. I don’t have the full amount the mechanics need to get the job down. Please, can you top me up?” Things were not easy for me financially but I gave him whatever he needed.

Just last year, I found out that I was pregnant. When I told him about it he didn’t react badly. He just shrugged and said, “Children are a blessing. Besides, we’ve been together for almost six years so why not? Let’s keep it.” All this while, this guy had never given me money. I also never asked because I thought it wasn’t necessary. However, when he agreed that I keep the pregnancy, I expected him to step up and provide for me financially.

Even if he couldn’t afford to take full responsibility, I expected some form of commitment or support. The first six months of the pregnancy, this guy did not give me anything. I was still working so once again, I did not demand anything from him.

It was when I got to my third trimester that I took leave from my work. I had some savings I relied on. It was from that account that I bought every item on the hospital list and any other item the baby needed. My mother also supported me by sending me foodstuff and medication. I was getting by little by little until I had a problem with my savings account and it got blocked.

I was at home with no money. That was when I started counting on Ernest to be there for me. This guy would wake up in the morning and give GHC10. No, that was not breakfast money. It was my pocket money for the entire day. On days he was angry at me, he would only give me GHC5. It was at this point that reality hit me. I was with a man who did not care enough about me to make sure I was comfortable while I carried our child in my womb.

My mother knew the hardship I was facing. She knew things would only get worse after the baby arrived. So when I had the baby she came to visit. She told me, “Follow me home so that I can take care of you and the child.” I needed all the help I could get so I responded, “Yes, I will go.” When she got the chance, she discussed her plans with my boyfriend. This guy told her, “I don’t want her to go yet. My mother intends to visit us after you leave. So let’s wait till she has come and gone.”

I waited and waited for his mother’s visit but there was no indication that she was going to show up. I also needed help so I discussed my dilemma with someone close to my boyfriend. And the person encouraged me to go live with my mother till I felt ready to return.

He was not at home when we left. When we got there, I tried to call him to let him know where we were but my number was blocked. I used my mother’s number to call him but it didn’t go through. He blocked her too.

I didn’t have any other choice but to call his mother and some of his friends. Whatever they said to him, got him to unblock us. Nonetheless, he did not forgive me. Every time he called and I tried to talk to him about us, he would say; “I am only calling to check up on my child.” He did this until the baby turned three weeks old. Even then, he wouldn’t talk to me about our problems.

I remember calling him to tell him; “I am sorry that I went against you and left for my mother’s place. I just want you to understand that I needed her help.” He said, “It has already happened so why are you apologizing? You disrespected me, so I cannot be with you anymore.” He went on to say that he didn’t want the child anymore. “I have never wanted a child,” he concluded.

My mother called and apologized on my behalf but he didn’t change his mind. My dad too added his voice to the apology train, but that too didn’t work. Our friends also stepped in but his mind was made up. Nothing I or anyone else said, mattered enough to make a difference. While all this was going on, he sent me only GHC300 for child support.

We spent three months at my mother’s place. And when we returned to Kumasi, he had already brought my stuff to my place. My family also called to have a meeting with him. They asked why he performed the knocking rights if he knew he was not going to marry me. They asked him to pay all the money we spent while we were at my mum’s place. He told them he won’t even give me one cedi.

He said a lot of hurtful things about me to my family. Then he told my family, “If you want any money from me then you will have to take legal action. You can have your lawyer call me when you are ready,” he finally said before storming out.” Not only did he disrespect me, but he disrespected my family as well. So I blocked him.

We did the naming ceremony and I named the child without him. I am so depressed because of the way things turned out. Six years of love and loyalty have led me to this point. I know it is not going to be easy to raise this child by myself but I am counting on God for strength.

—Tina